Is it my birthday already?
I am counting the hours it seems until it is actually my birthday. It gives me something exciting to look forward too, after weeks on end confined to my home. Being a stay at home mom sometimes feels more like prison than something that one looks foward too (that one being myself). So I'm setting here typing away while one baby sleeps and the other is set on "walking" her bathtub turtle all over the desk, keyboard, the chair and me. LOL. (hey who can get bored with that?)
Early I had to do some "vent" cleaning because I was mad at my hubby for not preparing for my birthday. He had all of his instructions but being the stubborn person or rather impromptu as he calls it, person that he is my birthday may not be the GOOD birthday at all like he promised. *sigh* And I was thinking to myself as I am furiously cleaning and venting, "geez it's only one day a year and all I ask is to have some FUN and not just do the normal same old routine stuff and it's not like I ask for much and I don't complain why can't I just have a fun birthday since none of the other one's have really been fun with a capital f". So I'm thinking all of this while cleaning in a frustrated sort of way - but of course no one really knows I'm frustrated because I'm just mommy and I always clean the house after dinner and the day is done and since I'm just mommy isn't that my job anyway? Well after I cleaned (that really does help to let off steam) I really felt better, especially after I poured myself a nice glass of red wine and ran a nice hot bath (that I'm waiting to cool down so I can step into it.) Basically after all that I feel bad for trying to make my husband feel bad for not being a better planner. He told me that next year I can plan my birthday and to just give him the list of what I want him to do. But that is not the point, I want to feel like someone that I love took the time out of their busy schedule to think about me and actually PLAN something special for me because I'M WORTH IT (wasn't that a commercial?). So I guess that is my biggest complaint.
*Sigh* well I guess I have complained enough and seeing as it is almost midnight here I suppose I'd better get into my bath before it gets too cool and then I won't be able to take it and that will just be another thing to add to my list of disappointments. Funny, how something like being able to take a bath can make me feel bad. LOL. I used to take being able to bathe for granted, well not anymore. That's about as close to me time as it's gonna get. I love being around my family, it's just those times that I feel unappreciated is when it gets rough, very rough. I want to be more than just a mother and a wife, I want to be me.
Early I had to do some "vent" cleaning because I was mad at my hubby for not preparing for my birthday. He had all of his instructions but being the stubborn person or rather impromptu as he calls it, person that he is my birthday may not be the GOOD birthday at all like he promised. *sigh* And I was thinking to myself as I am furiously cleaning and venting, "geez it's only one day a year and all I ask is to have some FUN and not just do the normal same old routine stuff and it's not like I ask for much and I don't complain why can't I just have a fun birthday since none of the other one's have really been fun with a capital f". So I'm thinking all of this while cleaning in a frustrated sort of way - but of course no one really knows I'm frustrated because I'm just mommy and I always clean the house after dinner and the day is done and since I'm just mommy isn't that my job anyway? Well after I cleaned (that really does help to let off steam) I really felt better, especially after I poured myself a nice glass of red wine and ran a nice hot bath (that I'm waiting to cool down so I can step into it.) Basically after all that I feel bad for trying to make my husband feel bad for not being a better planner. He told me that next year I can plan my birthday and to just give him the list of what I want him to do. But that is not the point, I want to feel like someone that I love took the time out of their busy schedule to think about me and actually PLAN something special for me because I'M WORTH IT (wasn't that a commercial?). So I guess that is my biggest complaint.
*Sigh* well I guess I have complained enough and seeing as it is almost midnight here I suppose I'd better get into my bath before it gets too cool and then I won't be able to take it and that will just be another thing to add to my list of disappointments. Funny, how something like being able to take a bath can make me feel bad. LOL. I used to take being able to bathe for granted, well not anymore. That's about as close to me time as it's gonna get. I love being around my family, it's just those times that I feel unappreciated is when it gets rough, very rough. I want to be more than just a mother and a wife, I want to be me.
Smiles for M.A.T
My Loves
M.A.T. in black and Aly
1 Comments:
At 7:14 PM, January 24, 2005,
Stacy said…
Boy do I remember the prison thing. It's still a prison, it just that now the location of the prison constantly changes. My oldest graduates this year and I think the thing that got me through the those years was making sure I did something for myself everyday. My out was exercising, I felt that I was accomplishing something. Blogging might be yours. Thanks for commenting on my post. Take care of your little ones and hold them often, they grow far too fast.
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